Community Sustainability Equity
Banning Cowboy Boots in Calgary Will Liberate Feet
July 2, 2009
Recently there have been many calls to ban the burka. Locally there is another movement - to ban cowboy boots - that is sure to draw the ire of many Calgarians.
Arms, legs, stomaches, backs, chests, and even asses are proudly out on display for all to see during the Calgary Stampede. Feet though are hidden beneath a stifling leather boot that sometimes reaches all the way up to the knee. Body parts activists say that cowboy boots pound feet into a state of submissiveness and invisibility, something that is unacceptable in our Western liberal democracy. Cowboy boots may even be in direct contravention to the declaration of body part rights. Activist Gayve Gann, says that cowboy boots “are not a sign of history and pride, but of subservience”.
Calgarians are under tremendous pressure to conform to a rigid brand of cowboy machismo, especially during the Calgary Stampede. In this part of the country, any criticism of the cowboy boot is considered blasphemous.
One of the most sacred rituals at Stampede time is wearing the cowboy costume. No costume is complete without cowboy boots. For politicians of all stripes this ritual is mandatory. Not playing cowboy during Stampede can leave your political career on shaky ground. Not being an enthusiastic cowboy boot booster can be political suicide.
Recently Mayor Dave Bronconnier found this out the hard way. During a rare moment of candor during a pre-Stampede party he blurted out that, “We cannot accept to have in our city, feet who are prisoners behind the boot, cut off from all social life, deprived of identity. This is not inline with the values of liberty and freedom that Calgary was founded upon". The mayor quickly retracted his comments and apologized when he was inundated by a tsunami of political correctness. This political correctness is restricting freedom of thought and speech nowadays here in Calgary, especially during the Stampede.
The problem is what the cowboy boot represents. The mystique of the cowboy is one of great dexterity, strength, and endurance enhanced by a reputation for honesty, integrity, geniality, humility, sensitivity, and other goodly qualities (in bed). Others though associate the cowboy with less than flattering qualities (in bed) such as an inability to communicate, boorishness, insensitivity, narcissism, and delusional thoughts (for example, pretending cowboys settled the wild open frontier when really they were not only government pawns in the building of the railroad, but were thieves who stole Native land, in addition to being murderers who slaughtered Natives all across the Prairies).
Professor Urb Ancowboi, chair of the Friends of the Stampede, said these complaints are “absolute hogwash”. Ancowboi said that this was just a "smear campaign".
The problem is also the physical cowboy boot. When prodded further, off the record, Ancowboi said it did seem silly to be wearing cowboy boots in the city in the middle of summer. “Too be honest cowboy boots are uncomfortable. They leave killer bunions on my feet. My boots suffocate my feet. When the sun is scorching, cowboy boots feel like a hot moving prison. Frankly, the smell can be quite embarrassing, especially when you take your boots off to get jiggy with it”.
Mayor Bronconnier's comments are to be appreciated for their sincerity and clarity in defending the rights of feet. Fair-minded Calgarians must be cognizant of the repressive nature of cowboy boots and quickly move towards outlawing them in this city. We must lift ourselves out of the Stampede and alcoholic fog that we are in and liberate feet everywhere!
This kinda talk isn't good for cowboy boot sales. In response the Cowboy Boots Association is rounding up its resources and firing back with all its might.
There is much to like about cowboy boots. They make guys taller and women slimmer. Another benefit is that cowboy boots are pee resistant, which comes in handy when you are struggling to keep awake at the urinal after drinking all day and hoping to keep partying all night. These benefits pale in comparison though to the plight of feet.
